GRANITE: a very hard, granular, crystalline, igneous rock

I was congratulating myself on the success of putting four new stones onto the beach chain to stop it moving as I drove into Tim Marsh’s granite quarry in Mabe to pay him.  There was a handwritten sign saying “office” with an arrow pointing up a very narrow track lined with piles of granite.  Naturally I followed the sign and came to a dead end with no office.  Taking great care, I reversed back down the track until I heard a wonderful ripping sound coming from my car.  I jumped out to see what I’d hit – and for a moment it seemed that I had hit nothing.  Until I went round to the passenger side to see that I had ripped off a panel on my passenger door.  There was one piece of granite sticking out 18 inches from the bottom of a pile of granite.  As I admired the damage, a fine old Cornishman greeted me with the words, “You’re the second person this week that’s hit that piece of granite.  Where you looking for the office?  Because it’s not up there anymore……”  Brilliant. Now looking for a new door for a Honda.